72 Stoner Quotes and Captions For Your Next High

Stoners have a world of their own. Their stuff is not their clothes, their weed does not grow in their garden (sad emoji), their crush is not a tomato under a rock and certainly is not a cute guy or a girl, their joint is not a joint bank account, their roll is not a veggie casserole and their high is not upon a mountain. They all have deep eyes and a weird sense of humor. Either all the stoners in the room would laugh on a lame joke or they would lie still on a great one. So let us enter their territory with these Stoner Quotes and Sayings.

Stoner’s world is a little slower and calmer than the rest of the world. They are kind-hearted people who welcome anyone and everyone who enter their room. They believe in sharing and hence one little joint is shared among a big group; basically, a precious and adorable species.

So let us celebrate the stoners of our world with these quirky Stoner Quotes and Captions that will surely get you high:

Stoner Quotes

1. “If somebody gives me a joint, I might smoke it, but I don’t go after it.” – John Lennon

Stoner Quotes
Stoner Quotes

2. “When in doubt, smoke it out.” – Unknown

3. “Is that a joint man? That there looks like a quarter-pounder.” – Cheech and Chong – Up in Smoke

4. “If I study high, take the test high, I’ll get HIGH scores!” – How High

Stoner Quotes

5. “It’s CANnabis, not CAN’Tabis.” – Unknown

6. “I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints. And then I smoke two more.” – Sublime

7. “Don’t sweat it. Just keep blazing.” – Unknown

Stoner Quotes

8. “I never joined high school, I joined school high.” – Unknown

9. “Smoking helped put me in touch with the realm of the senses.” – Hugh Hefner

10. “A puff a day keeps the debauched attitude away.” – Unknown

Stoner Quotes

11. “Of course I know how to roll a joint.” – Martha Stewart

12. “That is not a drug, it’s a leaf.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

13. “I don’t consider weed to be any worse than having a beer.” – James Franco

Stoner Quotes

14. “When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point.” – Barack Obama

15. “You either love weed, or you’re wrong.” – Unknown

16. “I wake up early in the morning and it feels so good. Smoking on some shit that you wish you could.” – Snoop Dogg

Stoner Quotes

17. “Don’t worry. Don’t cry. Smoke weed and get high.” — Unknown

18. “I have used cannabis all over the world.” – Rick Steves

19. “If you grew up in the ’60s or ’70s, and didn’t do drugs I don’t trust you.” – Danny Danko

Stoner Quotes
Best Stoner Quotes

20. “Every night is the perfect night to smoke weed.” — Unknown

21. “I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this, but I’m gonna get you high today, ’cause it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job… and you ain’t got shit to do.” – Friday

22. “My blood type is THC.” – Unknown

23. “I am always high because the universe is so low.” – Unknown

Stoner Quotes

24. “When you smoke herb, it reveals you to yourself.” – Bob Marley

25. “I think people need to be educated about the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?” – Willie Nelson

26. “I’m in the section with the stoner kids. This is for us stoner kids.” – Ali, Fusk

Stoner Quotes

27. “Stoner, stoner, you are a goner. Stick your needle in your arm while they suffer.” – Behind the Bars

28. “I be getting stoned, imma stone-cold stoner.” – Jitsu Gaiden

29. “Baby I’m a stoner gotta smoke when I awake. Baby I’m a loner when I smoke it’s to the face.” – DohBoy

30. “A friend with weed is a friend indeed…” – Pops O’Donnell

Stoner Quotes

31. “Struggle is the enemy, but weed is the remedy.” – Kid Cudi

32. “I got high, and forgot I wasn’t supposed to get high.” – Ricky Williams

Funny Stoner Quotes

33. “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy weed. And, that’s kind of the same thing.” – Unknown

Funny Stoner Quotes
Funny Stoner Quotes

34. “Sorry, my weed is too loud. Couldn’t hear you.” – Unknown

35. “Not everyone likes weed, but not everyone’s opinion matters.” – Unknown

36. “The greatest service that can be rendered to any country is to add a useful plant to its culture.” – Thomas Jefferson

Funny Stoner Quotes

37. “The weed is for the people. It’s the people’s weed.” – Jonah Hill

38. “‎Some of my finest hours have been spent on my back veranda, smoking hemp and observing as far as my eye can see.” – Thomas Jefferson

39. “Marijuana saved my life. I have no doubts about it and you don’t need to show me any data.” – Greg Scott

Stoner Quotes

40. “Stop killing each other man. Let’s just smoke a blunt.” – Tupac

41. “I’ve been smoking marijuana for 44 years now, and … I think it’s a tremendous blessing.” – Lester Grinspoon

42. “Writing to me is like hitting the herb. No problems, Mon. No worries.” – A.K. Kuykendall

Funny Stoner Quotes

43. “Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating.” ― Richard Neville

44. “It makes me feel the way I need to feel.” – Snoop Dogg

45. “It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned.” – Bill Lee

Stoner Instagram Captions

46. Roll it up. Smoke it up.

47. This is how I roll.

48. Couples who smoke together, stay together

49. Smoke your heart out!

50. When I die, bury me with my bong.

51. Shut up and smoke.

52. This is what dreams are made of.

53. Stoner since birth.

54. I was born with a bong in my hand.

55. My blood type is THC.

56. There’s blood in my cannabis stream!

57. My birthstone is a cannabis seed.

58. Smoke more, talk less.

59. Weed’s so loud, neighbors made a noise complaint.

60. Hail to the dank!

61. In dank we trust.

62. Kief me alone.

63. Be-leaf in yourself.

64. Good vibes only.

65. High everyone.

66. Lit as fireworks on the Fourth of July.

67. Things that are baked: Cakes, pie, cookies, me. . .

68. BRB: It’s time to blaze.

69. Home is where the bong is.

70. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy weed. And, that’s kind of the same thing.

71. I followed my heart, and it drove me to the dispensary.

72. Never settle just for just one bowl.


We hope that we were able to do some justice to the swag of the stoner community and we also hope that we get a lot of people with the stoner mindset but without the need to inhale some smoke and our world will become a better place to live in. Goodbye till next time.

Also read:

Stoner Quotes
Stoner Quotes and Captions For Your Next High

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